The Education of Sebastian (The Education of..., #1)

The Education of Sebastian (The Education of..., #1) - Jane Harvey-Berrick 3.5 stars“Fate had thrown us together: who was I to deny it? No, that wasn’t right. I simply no longer cared. I had chosen –willingly, knowingly, deliberately. I chose love over law. And I didn’t care.”First of all this book is not for the faint hearted. The issue of the age difference contributed to the awkwardness, that and the fact that I was constantly worried that they'd get caught. They first met when Sebastian was just 8 years old. He was immediately infatuated with Caroline. She was like an angel and her house was magical, full of happy moments. Caroline and her dad had a great parent child relationship that he lacked in his own home. Those happy memories were his refuge for all those years of neglect and lost childhood.They meet again when Caroline and her husband were transferred to the same base 10 years later. He’s now seventeen year old, four months away from his next birthday. He’s still smitten with her, creating for some almost embarrassing moments.In fact this infatuation made his behavior seem childlike, but it was his vulnerability showing through at times that just didn't sit right with me. I felt conflicted, confused and awkward!I understood what Caroline was going through, really felt for her and her pathetic life, miserable existence, but she was the adult and I didn't think that she resisted much or behaved like one.Maybe if we'd had more circumstances bringing them together, an emotional build up. That and the fact that they were both reckless, not taking any precautions. I'd understand him being a teenager and all, but Caroline was an adult, she should have been able to resist the hormones and put a stop and not jump at each other at any given opportunity, which was everyday.Because of that, I just couldn't relax, I was constantly worried that they'd get caught and was wishing for the time to pass fast, for them to have some sort of control.I found myself wandering off and wanting to skip the sex scenes. Why would you ask.First of all, it felt wrong, even though they were meant for each other. Secondly, the sex happened too fast, I'd have liked more emotional connections, yes we were told that Sebastian loved and adored Caroline. He told her so from the very beginning. I needed a bit more of that, how he came to realise his love for her, why he didn't have any reservations to tell her. I know that he saw her as his salvation. And thirdly, when sex happened, which did a lot, we got a very detailed account of it, and with him being a fast-reloaderit happened not once, twice but yes you've got it, at least three or more times. So while they indulged themselves in the throes of passion, all I could think was Too much! Ok, break it off! Someone's gonna see you! ... you get the idea.Sebastian was very sweet and sometimes very mature for his age. He wasn't afraid to express himself and while I admired him for that I just couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling that in real life men are not that forward with their emotions, wouldn't that be wonderful if that were the case?In short, Sebastian wasn't afraid to love.“He did these things so naturally, with no fuss or embellishment that my heart expanded with delight and pain each time. Sebastian always put me first. I wasn’t used to that.”The emotional conversations, the real connection were few and far in between but they were the ones that I relished and craved for in this book.“You’re the one good thing I’ve got in my life. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Not for anything. I finally feel… alive.” I heard him gasp and he pulled me closer.“I feel the same, Caro. You’ve taught me everything I know.”I blinked in surprise.“You have. You’ve taught me who I can be, you’ve made me stronger. You make me want to see the magic in the world. I didn’t know falling in love could be… like this.”In a way he saved Caroline, showed her what an unconditional and real love is. He was as good for her as she was good for him.“What did I know of the kind of love that made it hard to breathe, where your body ached day and night for that connection with another, physically, mentally, spiritually? It was utterly new and terrifying and exhausting and wonderful. I was dazzled by the light that spilled from him into the shadow of my previous existence. He eclipsed everything, erased everything that had gone before. I was reborn – not just to him, but to myself. And I was ready for the adventure.”I felt at times that Sebastian was the adult in this relationship. He wasn't afraid to grab the life, to love and dream. He taught Caroline to live again, to hope and take that giant step in believing in herself.“Here in this room, with our bodies entwined, I felt that I could trust this fierce love that had shattered and rebuilt my life. But outside, the world was a cold and dangerous place. I didn’t know if love would be enough, but I’d promised to try.”Needles to say the ending, even though I knew it was coming it really crashed me. I was really sad and couldn't stop thinking about all those future plans, trips on a bike, moving to Little Italy, dreamed and planed so carefully and innocently by Sebastian...It really moved me and it brought ugly tears to my eyes....In fact it was his dedication and unrelenting love that rounded the score to 4 stars.“I’ll always love you, Caro. Don’t give up on us. Please don’t give up. I’ll wait for you. It’s only three years. I love you!”“I love you, too,” I whispered so softly I didn’t know if he’d heard me. “Ti amo tanto, Sebastian, sempre e per sempre.”